Every now and then a character is created that truly catches our imaginations. I am of course talking about cartoon characters. You know that the guys who created them were probably just as stony as the characters we love. So sit back, spark up and enjoy the ridiculous antics of: The 10 Best Stoner Cartoon Characters Ever Made.
10. The Count (Sesame Street)
This guy had to make an appearance somewhere on the list. A tough choice between him and Cookie Monster but lets look closer. The Count does not leave his house during the day, in fact he sleeps all day and is awake all night. Check. He is so stoned all the time that he walks around counting things and killing himself laughing. The classic character from the Sesame Street team, he taught us to love numbers, what he didn’t tell you was that you had to be high in order for that to really happen. The Count is almost 2 million years old. They also discontinued The Count’s extended laughing after each number as they were afraid it would scare children. He also had a girlfriend at one stage called Countess Von Backwards.
“Greetings! I am the Count. They call me the Count because I love to count things.” The Count.
9. Michelangelo (Ninja Turtles)
This Ninja Turtle was always a favourite. He is green, totally chilled out and loves pizza. Convinced already? His buddies include a giant talking rat as well as other green talking animals. He practically never goes out during the day other than when he has the opportunity to hit the beach and have a surf. Michelangelo is by far the easiest going of of all the turtles. He never has beef with anyone and always recommends chilling out and having a snack. I heard a rumour that said he actually grows some seriously nuclear weed down there in the sewers. It’s just a rumour though. He prefers to go by the name Mikey and is known for his tag line, “kawabanga”. The original Ninja Turtles was aired in 1987. Anything this rad has to be high.
[sees that Raph has brought home an unconscious April] “Can we keep her?” – Michelangelo
8. The Smurfs or Les Schtroumpfs
How could I choose just one? The smurfs are some seriously smurfed little Smurfs. They live in the smurf and consist mostly of smurf smurfs, with the exception of Smurfet, who was actually smurfed by Gargamel. The Smurfs live in the smurf and love to eat smurf berries. Papa Smurf and the Smurfs smurf around the forest but they prefer to skip and smurf while they smurf. Sometimes Gargamel, the evil wizard, who wants to smurf all the Smurfs, tries to smurf them but lands up smurfing himself in the process. The idea of the show was created when a gent and his buddy were having dinner and one asked for the salt, but called it the Schtroumpf (salt in french), to which he replied “Here’s the Schtroumpf — when you are done schtroumpfing, schtroumpf it back”. They then spent the rest of the evening speaking in Schtroumpf, or as we call it, Smurf. Made in 1958
“Ooo, those goody-goody Smurfs make me sick! – Gargamel
“Reow-row-row-reowww!” – Azreal the cat
7. Otto Mann (The Simpsons)
Otto man, old faithful. The School bus driver on one of the worlds favourite cartoons loves to rock out to heavy metal, while driving the kids to school. He seems to think he knows what’s going on, but soon finds out he really does not. Otto only has his trusty tape deck, what he is wearing, and his jar of mustard as his prized possessions. He is never 100% there, but has good intentions, I think. He once lost his job because the school found out he never actually had a drivers licence. Otto has sought the help of Bart before but seems to forget who he is.
“Otto: Can I at least get my stuff?”
“Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old Psycho magazines.”
“Otto: Wow! I have mustard?”
6. Jughead (Archie Comics)
Jughead is so stoned all the time that he can’t even open his eyes. Jughead has permanent munchies and will literally eat anything. His dislikes include; walking, standing and running. The dude is always falling asleep from too much weed. Jughead’s favourite hangout is Pop’s Malt Shop where he owes more money than we care to mention. I also heard that Jughead buys his weed from Pops, where else would one score section in Riverdale? I even think that they would have called him Pothead if it didn’t mean Archie Comics would be banned. Since 1941.
“Why do houses burn down but paper burns up? If he is a him, why isn’t she a shim?” – Forsythe “Jughead” Van Jones II
5. Spongebob Squarepants
I once watched the Spongebob movie. It was about 2 hours of him and Patrick blowing bubbles. Spongebob lives in a pineapple under the sea. Spongebob Squarepants! Okay enough. He’s a yellow sponge that lives on the bottom of the ocean with his buddies Hashbrick and Squidwerd. His short term memory is pretty useless and he seems to struggle with small tasks. Spongbob has given many a five year old child and 25 year old stoner a jolly giggle that comes from the belly up. He also lives with his pet snail Gary, who is so high that he meows.The theme song was originally sung by none other than Weird Al Yankovich. What more could you want?
“Whew! It’s a good thing that was only a sea bear, this dirt circle would never protect us against a sea rhinoceros. It’s a good thing I’m wearing my anti-sea rhinoceros undergarments” – Spongebob Squarepants
4. Beavis and Butthead
An ultimate classic. Beavis and Butthead made smoking weed and watching cartoons what it is today. This show aired on MTV for the first time in March 8, 1993. It follows the antics of two good for nothing teenagers as they rampage and ruin their quiet town of Highland, Texas. Beavis and Butthead was created by Mike Judge. He also voiced both of the characters. The show grew a cult following and aired for four years. Beavis and Butthead would sit for short spaces during the episodes and watch music videos of current bands,, super stoned and always with a running commentary of none sense. I have this show to thank for my introduction to GWAR, who brought us such 90’s classics like “Meat Sandwich.”. If you have never heard of them look them up, I promise you will be entertained.
“This is like a James Bond movie.”
“Yeah. They need that short guy, HandJob.”
“Heh heh heh, you said ‘Job’.”
-Beavis & Butthead
3. Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh, what a stoner. He has the munchies constantly and can never to get too upset about anything. The bear loves honey and woddles around the 100 acre forest all day stoned out of his tree. Rabbit the republican can’t stand Pooh and his stoned buddy Piglet, who is so goofed he can’t string a sentence together without stuttering. His buddy Tigger is on crack so you only see him every now and then when he needs Pooh’s help to retrieve something he lost to his dealers, like his tail. Pooh’s dilemmas include standing up, and walking out his door for more honey. Sound familiar? I do find Piglet and Pooh’s relationship a little questionable at times…
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh,” he whispered.
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw, “I just wanted to be sure of you.””
-Pooh and Piglet
2. Randy Marsh
Randy Marsh is one of the most evolved characters of South Park. He is a man of many secrets, and does in fact have a medical marijuana licence. As the head of the Marsh family and a recognised name in the town, Randy always seems to be part of the solution whenever the town is in chaos. After all, he is a Geologist. As young as this cartoon is, it definitely deserves a spot right at the top of the list. Trey Parker and Matt Stone debuted their creation on August 13, 1997. The characters of South Park have caressed our funny bones with humour that has taken the standards of comedy, turned it in to chili and fed it to it’s parents. Here’s to Randy Marsh, avid rock and pot lover.
“Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan, tell mom it’s okay.” – Randy Marsh.
1. Norville “Shaggy” Rogers
Shaggy is undeniably the biggest stoner in cartoon history. With his green T- shirt and brown bell bottoms he represented an entire generation of, like, groovy pot smokers. Shaggy gave a new meaning to “the munchies” in his 5 foot sandwiches with everything. His trusty buddy Scooby-Doo is equally stony, in fact, so stoned he thinks he can speak. Created in 1969 till present, Scooby-Doo, “Shaggy”, Velma, Freddy and of course the object of every 6 year olds’ fantasy, Daphne. They roll around in their Mystery Machine solving really stupid mysteries that seem to baffle local law enforcers and scientists alike. With a constant reference to drugs and an offer of “Scooby Snacks” our heroes can be convinced to do anything.
The bad guys in Scooby-Doo are the most creative yet unoriginal bunch you have ever seen. Apparently during the 60’s and 70’s there was a wave of crimes perpetrated by ghost, demons, witches and Merlin the Wizard. Oh but wait. It wasn’t actually Merlin, it was Jim the gardener with a bucket on his head.
“Like, there’s times I’ll do anything for a Scooby Snack” – Shaggy
Please believe how hard it was to put this list together. Trying to take the absolute best out of the last few decades of Stonertoon entertainment was no easy feat. Let us know if I’ve left any off the list!